Forgiveness – the hardest step

12 Feb Forgiveness – the hardest step

The path to forgiveness

I know you find it hard to let go, forgive and move on. Me too. You find yourself thinking about people who’ve let you down or a time when you’ve felt attacked or someone’s hurt you. You go over and over what you could have said or what you should have done. The fact of the matter is that if you continue thinking about past for  years, it shows the energy is still alive inside you.

It’s really hard to forgive other people. But it’s even harder to forgive yourself.

Two years ago, I booked for Bev and I to go diving in Malta and we got to Stansted in plenty of time. That’s fortunate, I thought, because the queue was huge. We stood in it and crept forward as the queue grew ever longer behind us. We inched our way to the front and the Ryanair staff were regularly coming round asking anyone for this or that flight come to the front of the queue. When we finally got there, the woman on the desk said ‘You are not in the right queue and your desk has just closed’. We’d missed the flight!

I was beside myself with fury because our flight hadn’t come up on the screen and we hadn’t known where to go. But I was mainly furious with me. What had I been thinking? Why had I just stood in a queue without asking? Why had I so confidently told Bev this was the right place to be?

Remembering this incident of missing the plane, even now, I find myself flushed with heat and wanting to cry at the memory of the fury I felt. I thought I had forgiven myself. Whenever I told anyone about it I was absolutely clear that it was my fault. (I only blamed Ryanair for an hour or so.)  But I can tell now that I still haven’t forgiven myself for it. I still need someone to blame. Even if it is me. Brené Brown has a hilarious video about it. Click here to watch it. 

Forgiveness is hard. Even in the Lord’s Prayer we ask God to help us do it and in that prayer there is an implicit bargain: you don’t get forgiveness until you forgive other people. And you have to keep working at it.

But forgiving yourself is harder than forgiving other people. You know everything that goes on inside your head so it is harder to accept yourself fully and not give way to the negative voices that fill our heads so much of the time.

However, forgiveness is vital because holding a debt of blame is draining and damaging. Not forgiving fully and not letting go is a seed that will grow into something far more damaging for your psyche and your health. Homeopathy can help you let go of past pains and grudges you are holding on to by helping you release the energy that belongs in the past so you can get on with today.

Forgiveness happens step by step

Make a promise to start and don’t beat yourself up because you haven’t succeeded.

Learn from what you did so you can reap whatever small benefit there is to be gained from it.

Love your life. Try and appreciate everything about it.

Apologise to people hurt in the incident and move on.

Remember, forgiveness is not a destination; it’s a process.

If you want to use homeopathy to get out of the tunnel of blame click here to make an appointment and start your walk to freedom.

I’d love to hear from you if you have you ever done anything you can’t forgive yourself for or have any pointers for letting go of the past?