So you get jealous, hurt and suspicious in your relationships? I know what that feels like. That feeling of being consumed by it when you can’t behave normally and you are ashamed to admit it to anyone. And the idea of speaking to someone only feels like it will weaken and cheapen you and make the problem more real.
I’ve been overcome with jealousy and suspicion and it’s driven me to do things that I couldn’t tell you in a blog, but that were destructive and painful. What I know now though is that jealousy is a major part of most people’s make up. Not necessarily every day, but when there is cause, most people will feel jealous. An absence of jealousy can look like a lack of attachment (and I certainly wouldn’t want a relationship with someone like that). However, it can be a silent torturer because you can often feel diminished by the idea of losing a friend, lover or partner and your pride and shame mean that you feel constrained from expressing it.
Jealousy isn’t the same as envy (which I will deal with in a different post). Envy is about wanting something or being dissatisfied because you don’t have something that someone else has. Jealousy is about not wanting to lose something that you already have. And even if you are unhappy in your relationship you probably don’t want it taken from you.
My top tip for dealing with jealousy is to tell someone. A friend or a professional. It will start to get the feelings into proportion, normalise what is going on and enable you to start unpicking why you are feeling jealous. Sometimes it is out of fear of what the future might hold and sometimes it could be out of a memory of losing out in a friendship battle at primary school. Sometimes it is because your partner really isn’t trustworthy and you are picking up on something.
Tip two: try to feel where you feel the jealousy in your body: stomach? jaw? joints? And what is it like: burning? stabbing? gnawing? Using mindfulness or relaxation techniques try to concentrate some love and attention on that part of you; relaxing, taking some quiet time and looking after yourself.
Because it is a universal phenomenon, homeopaths have thousands of remedies that they can use for people experiencing jealousy. There are a big group of remedies that might be prescribed for people who are full of suspicion, who feel every phone conversation, glance at someone else, bunch of flowers is evidence of infidelity. There is a range of remedies for people who dissolve into tears because of their jealousy and yet more for people who feel physically violent or destructive with frustration. I wouldn’t advise you to self-prescribe for your jealousy but if you are going to, be careful because jealousy and how you feel or express it are part of your whole psychological make-up and therefore not simple to treat. You should see a homeopath.
If you want to get to grips with jealousy, or any other emotion that seems to be dominating you or upsetting your equilibrium, try homeopathy. Book yourself an appointment and start your journey to a life with more emotional freedom by clicking here.If you like this, please share it